In 1590, Shakespeare used the phrase “break the ice” in his play “The Taming of the Shrew”, and more than 400 years later the phrase still carries a similar — if not the exact same — meaning: to overcome a socially awkward situation.

As social creatures, we have spent many generations finding ways to connect to those around us. When we are stuck in a social situation, overcome with anxiety, or simply at a loss for words it can be difficult to create or maintain an effective conversation.

What is an effective conversation? A conversation that leaves you feeling fulfilled, renewed, and satisfied — even if the topic of conversation itself wasn’t entirely of great importance.

For example, we’ve all had those random conversations that left us smiling and energized. Maybe it was with a cashier at the local grocery store, maybe the security guard at your job, or maybe it’s a fellow patron at a coffee shop. Either way, these interactions can be impossible to plan or hard to come by; however, once they happen… they leave many of us wanting more.

In Shakespeare’s play, Lucentio — the protagonist — can’t marry his love interest, Bianca, without the approval of her sister, Katherina. The phrase “break the ice” is used as he continuously figures out how to break through Katherina’s cold exterior; Katherina also being a “shrew” referred to in the title.

Now, the entire play isn’t relevant here or even to icebreakers; however, using this arguably ancient — yet still incredibly relatable — scenario, we can understand how icebreakers can make our lives a bit easier and help us foster long-lasting connections.

We all know that you can’t judge a book by its cover, but we also know — whether literally or not — that we do judge a book by its cover.

Discernment is an essential part of life and it’s integral to maintaining personal safety, but what happens when discernment turns into judgment? Do we even notice? Katherina was known for her cold exterior, but she was also known for being a staunchly independent woman who wasn’t going to be carelessly charmed.

While it was easy to perceive her — especially as a woman back then — as shrew or cold, in our modern era we understand how important it is to have a tougher exterior. If you live in a major city — like New York City — a cold exterior can even be lifesaving; but, we must not forget, balance is also important.

Nowadays, due to being so hyper-aware of all the dangers around us, we can unintentionally close ourselves off to meaningful relationships. Relationships where we feel safe, understood, and heard. We desire to connect and expand our perspectives alongside others. We come across people we genuinely want to get to know, but we simply don’t know how.

So, with Katherina, how would you break the ice?

She probably wouldn’t greet you with a smile or give a warm welcome, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a kind person. How can we break this ice?

First, start with yourself. Are you nervous? If so, cool. You don’t have to change that. Are you at a loss of words? Perfect! She’s a stranger, a blank slate is the perfect place to begin.

Now, what actually interests you about this person? Many people underestimate the little details, but that’s where the answers lie. In the context of the play, Lucentio is interested in Katherina’s sister, so he could ask Katherina a single question: Do you enjoy being a sister?

The key to breaking the ice is simple. Ask people about themselves. There’s a reason you want to talk to this person, just speak on that reason. Yes, it requires some creativity, but that creativity comes naturally with practice.

Here at Cyasoon, we are aware of the desires and barriers that people have when it comes to interpersonal connections. We’ve seen how the world has changed, but we’ve also seen where it hasn’t.

We’ve created an app for people to safely meet one another as they further discover who they are, the world around them, and the people they share it with. We know it’s getting harder to meet new people and come by these deeply meaningful — yet simple — conversations that leave us in awe; so, we will continually reintroduce spontaneity into your life.

With Cyasoon, you no longer have to wait for these random and amazing conversations because we will guide you to them. We will give you the opportunity to finally break the ice that stands in your way.

From meet to greet, we’ve got you covered. So, brush up on your icebreakers, you’re going to need them soon. Be one of the first to use our app and know when we launch by visiting our website!

Cyasoon!